Our first new song in 6 years

Hey, the first song for the new Nonkey album is written. It's called 'Lady Lemonade' and it's about a girl who just drinks fizzy citrus-flavoured non-alcoholic beverages. There is, of course, a twist (not just of lemon) but we won't give too much away -- you'll have to buy the album ;-)

Be assured, it is a funny song. Actually, Nige' wrote the basics of this song some time ago, for a blues band. We had to sit down the re-work it. It need 'raunching' up in a Nonkey kinda way. We were able to shoehorn the word 'Dominatrix' in and rhyme it with 'latex'. And that's something you'll grow to appreciate about the Nonkeys song writing genius; the ability to always, always, ALWAYS find a rhyme. Even if it's an appalling use the English language. And if all else fails, and we can't find a rhyme we either change the word using http://thesaurus.reference.com/, or we invent a word.

On a number of occasions we have invented names. In 'Horny Ornithologists' we needed a word to rhyme with 'aviary'. Rymezone.com reports ' Words and phrases that rhyme with aviary: (0 results)
Sorry, no perfect rhymes were found.' So we invented a character called 'Amy Maviary'. Eh? Ya get me? Well, we've done it again; in 'Lady Lemonade' we needed a rhyme for 'tea totaller', so we invent 'Fanny Floataller'. Smooth (AMC). Am I boring you?

Nonkey Song Writing Techniques

Basically, the Nonkey song writing recipe goes like this...

• 1. I have an idea,
• 2. I write the lyrics,
• 3. I write the music,
• 4. I record all of the music,
• 5. Then Nige' does some singing.

We both agree that I am the creative genius of the duo. Nige' is the voice, the frontman, the stooge. Without me...he is nothing, darling.

Having The Idea
Firstly, you have to have an idea for a song. Something that makes you laugh. The level to which the idea makes you laugh may range from 'mild titter' to 'outright gaffaw'. It could be a joke someone told you, it could be an expression someone uses, it could be a bogey on the wall which has been sculpted into the shape of Che Guevara. Keep your eyes open at all times or you might miss that inspiration.

Write The Lyrics
OK, so you got the idea. Let's say, the booger one. Next thing to do is decide if the song is going to have a 'punchline' or if the song is going to have a catchy, sing-along chorus? You could have both, but that uses up two good ideas in one song, and you don't really want to spend your creative juices prematurely. Let's try writing a catchy, sing-along chorus for our booger song. First line will be...

There's a booger on the wall in the shape of Che Guevara

We could now search the http://www.rhymezone.com/ for something that rhymes with 'Guevara'. How about this...

There's a booger on the wall in the shape of Che Guevara
It's an admirable attempt at sculpting nasal carbonara

Hey? Sounds like the beginnings of another Nonkey classic. Ya get me?

To Be Continued.

More songs about boobies and pooh

So there we were, Nige and Pete, the artists formerly known as ‘The Nonkey Brothers’, at a creative dead end. Impotent and flacid (in a musically creative kind of way). Since we stopped all Nonkey activities back in 2000, we’d done nothing for the benefit of mankind.

After the legal battle over band finances (www.gnatschuff.com) was finally resolved, we agreed that we should write a new Nonkey Brothers album. Get back to what we do so well and focus on our core competencies. Which basically boils down to more songs about boobies and pooh. (Perhaps we should call the new album 'More Songs About Boobies and Pooh'?)